The great Doctor (me) is back again. This week, talking about that colossal calamari, the Giant Squid, the Kraken. Many people over the centuries have claimed to have encounters with the Giant Squid and so far, all have been declared clinically insane.
Now, according to Reuters, the county of Japan has come out with what they claim is actual photographs of the Kraken in it’s natural habitat which turns out to be, amazingly, in the water.
Tsunemi Kubodera, a zoologist at Japan’s National Museum of Nature and Science explains how he managed to capture images of the creature, “If you try and approach making a load of noise, using a bright white light, then the squid won’t come anywhere near you. That was our basic thinking,” Kubodera said. “So we sat there in the pitch black, using a near-infrared light invisible even to the human eye, waiting for the giant squid to approach.”
The claim is that the reason we have never captured a giant squid on film before is because it’s been scared away by the noisy and bright underwater machines have been sent after it in the past.
We may be able to apply this reasoning to other elusive creatures such as Bigfoot for example. Perhaps we have never seen a Bigfoot because it is terrified of people. I suggest that Bigfoot hunters do so while completely invisible or failing that, wearing a big friendly teddy bear suite.
However, some are not convinced, the United States is skeptical of this discovery and is in the process of getting Japan declared clinically insane. Something it’s been trying to do for decades.
Join me next week for more strange tails.
An interesting video was posted on Youtube a few days ago titled, ‘Unidentified Lights.’ A woman named Diana Navarro, was filming the New York sunrise for an unknown reason when she noticed lights glowing from odd rectangular constructs rising out of the ground. As she pans the camera it shows more of these lighted structures.
I for one am terrified by this video. What ever is depicted by this video, it’s obviously a hostile take over. I have been preparing for an event like this for 25 years. I have even build a car that runs on wood gas. If anybody needs me I’ll be in Vault number 21.
Join me next week for more tales of the paranormal.
Hello friends. This is Dr. Steven Hawkings alive and well. It would seem the Ancient Mayans were wrong about the end of the world. How could they just make an assumption like that with no proof to back it up? It’s disgusting.
However, researchers are stunned by the discovery of another calendar that advances hundreds of years into our future and then abruptly stops. I am, of coarse, talking about an ancient technological device called the Sega Saturn, who’s calendar mysteriously ends on the date, January 1st, 2199.
Much like the end of the Mayan calendar, this information can only be interpreted as the date in which our world will end. Scientists are working day an night to study this date and any astrological events that may coincide. One study predicts that the times around the year 2199 will have human beings enslaved by computerized robots who use them as batteries. Their minds being fooled by a sophisticated computer program that mimics real life.
Skip to the 5:14 mark in the video below for proof.
The Verge reports that Dr. Melba S. Ketchum, a Texan geneticist, has gathered a DNA sample of Bigfoot, lifted from a half eaten blueberry bagel. Ketchum has been studying the DNA for quite some time and claims to soon be releasing her results.
What she doesn’t know is that Will Henton, one of my ‘Bologna or Not? colleagues, was hiding in the bushes outside Ketchum’s home where the bagel bait had been placed, hoping to get the jump on Bigfoot.
Will missed his opportunity to witness the great ape in action but as soon as Will woke up and remembered where he was, he instead grabbed his own sample from the bagel and brought it back to headquarters for analyses.
Will brought me the sample and I placed it into the DNA analyzer that I bought off eBay. Two weeks later, we had our results. The DNA did not match any creature known to science, but it did match another sample we had from an unrelated study years earlier.
We had once aspired to determine the identity of Santa Claus. Our plan was to have Will set out milk and cookies for Santa Claus on Christmas Eve and then take DNA samples from the half eaten Oreos and milk glass. That sample had no matches and the case went cold.
However, the DNA sample from the bagel exactly matches that of the cookie sample. We can conclude positively that whoever, or whatever, ate that bagel is the same entity that had eaten the cookies years earlier. Ketchum swears the bagel was eaten by a Bigfoot and Will swears he doesn’t go around tasting every food he gets close to, so the only reasonable possibility left is that Bigfoot and Santa Claus are the same creature.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from ‘Bologna or Not?’!
National Geographic has published a report detailing the magnitude of life that lives within the human belly button, describing the ecosystem within is as a “rain forest.”
The study involved 60 different belly buttons in which over two thousand species live, about fifteen hundred of them are new to science.
Studies are underway to observe the creatures who occupy the navel including the indigenous village dwelling tribes. The tiny villagers appear to be thousands of years behind modern technology but they seem to be approaching the discovery of fire.
It is theorized that in some rare cases, belly buttons are inhabited by slightly more advanced civilizations who, in fact, have already learned to start fires. It is further speculated that this might be the cause of spontaneous human combustion.
Researchers are working around the clock to establish contact with the microscopic people and we’ll be sure to report on anything they find out.
Earlier this week, the Huffington Post published an article stating that a group of scientist think they know what happens when you die.
One says that when you die you are dead. To you, the world doesn’t exist, your friends don’t exist, you don’t exist.
Another says that, as evident in near death experiences, you live on in some form separate from your body.
And the last scientist claims that you will jump from life to life setting right, what once when wrong.
It would seem the mystery is solved. I’m glad we can put the speculation behind us now.
It turns out that the Super Mario Bros. Movie was right. After reading an article over at The Canadian, I am convinced that the Dinosaurs live and have evolved into humanoid creatures who live under the Earth’s surface.
The article claims that the dinosaurs extinction was the result of a suborbital war between two alien races in which one of the races use an experimental “fusion bomb” which caused all life on the planet to parish… almost.
A few species managed to survive and evolve eventually escaping the nuclear winter by moving underground. This reptilian race has been around for billions of years and had become technologically advanced and may have be responsible for many UFO sightings as well as the stories of Atlantis.
The story also claims that giant human beings also lived during the time of the dinosaurs but that’s just ridiculous.
The creature is difficult to see details in but there is definitely a large humanoid who appears from behind a large boulder and then dispersal behind a conveniently placed boulder a few feet away.
Skeptics propose that this is a man wearing a very large fur coat. Remember this is summertime in Nevada, so the idea that somebody is trying to stay warm is frankly, ridiculous. This is obviously some kind of unknown animal who’s adapted for such conditions.
But where did the Bigfoot go? He walks behind the rock and and vanishes. Some propose that Bigfoot is actually a trans-dimensional being who can slip in and out of worlds at will. With power like that, it’s no wonder we’ve never seen a corpse.