Hello again this week, a blog by the name of ShukerNater posts an article supposedly debunking the story of the mighty ghost chimp, Ufiti.
The story of Ufiti is a rather interesting one, in the area known as Malawi in Africa, a human settlement, strange sightings of an ape-like creature started to be reported in the 1960s in an area where no chimpanzee species was known to occupy. The description of this creature mostly match that of a western African chimpanzee except it had some characteristics from a mature male gorilla such as a gray saddle and an unusually large size.
Ufiti would seemingly appear out of nowhere around construction sites and other areas where humans tend to congregate. When a person attempted to get close to Ufiti, she would back into the jungle and disappear. Eventually, the construction sites became littered with banana peals and the people decided that Ufiti had to be captured.
When entering the jungle in pursuit of the mysterious ape, people were shocked to discover over 30 treetop structures, one had a satellite dish on the top.
Ufiti was found and caught. It turned out that she wasn’t a ghost, yet. She was soon sent to a local zoo where her health rapidly deteriorated and she was put down. At least that’s what we’ve been told.
There have been quiet rumblings of the true nature of the creature called Ufiti. These people have mostly been silenced however, a some have, on their death beds, revealed the shocking secret, Ufiti was a psychic. She was able to open her cage door with her mind.
She would often use her powers to gain entry to the kitchen where she would gorge herself on fruit and pancake mix. The people at the zoo learned to be afraid of Ufiti since she was able to control not only things but people with her mind. One report tells of the time that she made two co-workers groom each other and then have a feces fight.
One day Ufiti was found to be missing. It was later learned that she had become bored of living on Earth and had returned to her home planet. Yes, her home planet. Remember that satellite dish on her jungle construct? I was a communication device pointed at a star known as HR 8799, her presumed home system.
Officials maintain that Ufiti was just a garden variety chimpanzee, a possible escaped pet who died in a zoo. However, I offer no poof that any of that is true and I ask you to instead believe the stuff I have written.