Attention my fellow human mammals. A video that I found on YouTube has indisputably captured a shape-shifting humanoid reptilian alien within Barack Obama’s secret service. The video below clearly shows an out of place “man” twitching his head oddly and later he is seen actually changing the shape of his skull.
This brings to the table many questions. Like who else might be a shape-shifter? And how can you tell one from a real person? I went to my colleague, Nick Kilcoyne for his take, “it would seem to me that reptiles would have quite a different diet than humans. So if you suspect someone of being a shape-shifter, I recommend examining their feces.” Nick then checked the App Store for a feces scanner.
I then asked my other co-worker, Will Henton, who said, “I don’t know anything about shape-shifters but I’ll tell you about a shift-shaper, look at the new work schedule Patrick made. Now I work more days than I have off! How ridiculous is that?
So what do you think? Is the Government riddled with shape-shifting aliens?
Join me again next time for more tales of the unexplained. Hawkings, Goodnight.
A woman in the area also dialed 911 claiming that a man was trying to kill her. Police arrived on the scene to find the woman bleeding. She was admitted to the hospital and is expected to be fine. About 10 minutes later, a neighbor reported a prowler near his home. When police arrived, they found Lankford. He seemed to be disoriented and believed he was in a city called Lilburn, which was about 18 miles away from the scene. He also displayed slurred speech and difficulty maintaining balance – the clues are falling into place. For the sake of thoroughness, I’ll add that the police officer noticed the odor of alcohol on the suspect’s breath but I believe this fact to be unimportant.
When questioned, Lankford gave the police officer a perfectly reasonable explanation for the odd events, he had been abducted by aliens. Think about it, the mysterious crashed car, dropped by a flying saucer. The injured woman, the recipient of an alien implant. Lankford’s confused mental and physical state, aftershock from extraterrestrial experimentation. It all makes sense.
However as usual, a cover up was taking place and Lankford became the scapegoat here, being hauled away to jail accused of a DUI. When will people learn?
Join me next Friday for more tales of the paranormal.